A day in the life of...

Haven't posted many stories lately. So, this week I figured I'd share with all of you some of my routines. Today, a timeline of a normal work day for me. Enjoy.

8:15am : I wake up, look at the clock, announce “Five more minutes” and pull the covers over my head. Unless my wife is home, then she kicks me out of bed and gets me going. On those days, from here it skips to the 9:35 entry. 8:35am : Roll out of bed. Wake up my son and bring him to the bathroom. Then get him a cup of juice. On school days, I’ll pour a bowl of cereal and have him eat while I dress then dress him otherwise he’ll eat breakfast at the sitters and change their. 8:40am : Pack car and leave for sitters/school. On the car stereo: Rock102, the Bax & O’Brien Morning Show. I’ll usually leave something my son needs for the day at home. 9:05am : Arrive at sitters/school. 9:10am : Leave for work. 9:35am : Arrive at work five minutes late. I’ll walk the long way around the office to avoid the supervisors and team leaders as well as the copy machine, a known managerial hangout. Usually get caught by a smug co-worker who will announce, “Nice of you to join us!” 9:36am : Settle in and begin work. As some of you may or may not know I work for an insurance company as a call center representative. Mostly I handle disability benefits and assist with claims. No, I don’t work for the duck. I usually average seventy-five to one hundred calls a day. This is how the calls break down:

50% of the calls to complain about our slow claim service. “What do you mean you have to review my claim?!” Maybe 1 out of 10 callers have valid complaints, the other 9 idiots didn’t submit all necessary information, ignored specific policy provisions, sent to the wrong/old address or are just plain impatient.

25% of the calls are to complain about the benefits their employer provides to them like it’s our fault their employer is cheap. “You kidding me?! A pre-tax benefit of $25 a week? *click*”

10% of the calls are from people who think were another insurance company and after being informed we are not the duck, gecko or dog ask for their number then get pissy when I cannot supply the number of a non-affiliated company. People just don’t listen.

10% of calls I receive are misdirected and meant for other departments. A three-option menu is just too difficult for some people to understand.

3% of callers have valid complaint with the company. I feel for these people. Either their claim wasn’t paid on time, paid incorrectly, sent to wrong address or taking too long for review. It doesn’t happen too often but it does happen.

2% of the calls are from people who’ve actually read their policies, understand the provisions and call for claim status, to file a claim or report some change to status.

I dislike my job and hate 98% of the calls I take but the money is good and one of these days an opening in a different department will pop-up. 11:15am to 1:30pm : Calls pick up during this time as co-workers break for lunch. I’m ccosted by the random smells of the lunches my annoying co-workers decided to ingest in their cubicles. Sometimes it’s not bad, a little pizza or pasta aroma is welcome. Other times there is a wafting aroma of garlicky cabbage with a hint of dog excrement. Bon Appétit!

1:35 to 2:05pm : This is my lunch time, a time to eat my steak & cheese hot pockets and drink my Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Choice Cola. Believe it or not, this stuff is 110% better than the regular cola version. The other big selling point is a 24-pack case is around $3.00 including deposit. The biggest down side is out of every case there are about 3-5 cans that are not carbonated. After the hot pockets are cooked, I head out to my car and drive around Greenfield. First stop is to a McDonald’s to score a couple of little cups of ketchup to dip the hot pockets in. It’s great! That’s the only real destination, other than that I just cruise looking for photo opportunities. On the radio is 1240am, WHMP, and at this time of day the syndicated Thom Hartmann show is on. Sometimes I will hold my nose and make fun of him, “Labor me this, Labor me that. Who’s afraid of the big corporate fat cat?” 2:10pm : Sneak back to my desk after lunch as I was supposed to be there at 2:05. I blame the clocks for always making my five minutes late. 2:11 to 3:54pm : Back to the phones. Around this time the lazy sickly ones have woken up and rolled out of bed and are wondering where their checks are so they can run out and buy their beer, drugs, and hookers badly needed medicine. Clients and employees from the wonderful state of California start calling about now. Call lengths get longer as I need to bring interpreters for Spanish speaking callers. 3:55 to 4:15pm : Afternoon break begins. I head down the stairs and deposit five quarters into the vending machine to purchase a cold, crisp and refreshing Coca-Cola Classic. Even though there is a vending machine in my office, I prefer the one downstairs as the product is fresher. With Coke in hand I head out to my car and crank the Randi Rhodes Show. The 20 minutes just flies by! 4:16 to 5:00pm : Things pick up for a while as co-workers on earlier shifts begin to make their way to freedom. 5:01 to 5:30pm : Tumble weeds roll down the cubicle isles, remaining co-workers stand in there cubicles bobbing their heads around like prairie dogs. Calls are few and far between, like the desert rain. I struggle to keep my eyes open. Once I actually slept from 5:15 to 5:45 waking only to the ringing in my headset. That day was great! 5:45pm : I lean back and stare at the ceiling tiles. “How many holes are in each one?” I wonder. Google isn’t much help. 6:01pm : The supervisor / team leader announces the phones are down. As I prepare for departure ten minutes early, I’m set and like a dog freed from a pen, I sprint for the door. 6:05pm : Pull out of the parking lot and making my way home. The Al Franken Show is on the radio for the commute home. Between 6:15 to 6:25pm : Arrive home.

From this point its time for dinner with my family and then television time. Hang out with my son then have time with my wife. My wife has to get up early most mornings so I put the both to them to bed some time between 9:45 to 10:45pm then it’s my time. I’ll write, check out some websites, stalk people on MySpace and then zone out on YouTube until Letterman comes on. After that, bed. Sleep comes anywhere between 1am and 2am. Wake up and do it again. Just thought you’d like to know.