This week in God

Part one of the fifty-two forty-nine part series where I cover the changes to the Faith Baptist Church's sign in Greenfield. I started a little late in the year. They update their sign weekly, usually by Thursday. Of course I started this when there were reports of the baptist church fires, don't burn churches. Silver Street, Greenfield, Ma. Faith Baptist Church God kills babies

A RELIGION THAT GIVES NOTHING. COSTS NOTHING SUFFERS NOTHING IS WORTH NOTHING!

Is there any more to be said? I submit to you, No!

(English must not be a Baptist subject of study.)

Cross post from This week in God :: Read / Post Comments.

That'll teach him!

Davis and Pierce Street 4-way stop, Greenfield, Ma. "STOP BUSH!" Oh, brother! Greenfield is full of nuts - believe it! Why deface a stop sign? Last time I checked, neither Dubyah nor any of his cabinet has visited Western Massachusetts - even while campaigning, we're a blue state! Not to mention, they would NOT be traveling on THIS road.

Man, that tastes like Malta Goya...

The company I work for recently had a diversity awareness week. The hispanic culture was featured one day as they are a quickly growing demographic and understanding their culture is important for business - I guess. (I think there is more of a business impact that I can not speak spanish to spanish speaking clients, but I digress). Best way for me to understand any given culture is through their food, the higher-ups felt the same! At a luncheon, we were served some traditional hispanic food and this soda called Malta Goya. I didn't try mine as I had my Coke, so I tucked it away until later. The woman who was semi-in-charge of the event said that it tastes best ice-cold. When I got home I put the bottle in the coldest part of the refridgerator and waited. Finishing the bottle was a chore. Believe it! Do people really drink this stuff? Is this why you hate America - because capitalists keep Coke too expensive and you're forced to drink this?! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! My problems were with the smell and the flavor. I'm not used to soda having an aroma. I can't really describe it. Try smelling a chocolate frosted, chocolate cake. It kinda smells like that or .. maybe it doesn't and I'm just craving a cake right now. The flavor was not unlike molasses, maybe a little bit like caramel. The label states it's brewed from pale malt and hops. Had this been an alcoholic drink it might have been ok. After the third I might have actually enjoyed it but alas there were no benefits to the misery. Also, there is nothing noted in the ingredients that the beverage in question contains caffeine! Next time, if there is ever a next time, I'll slip a little rum in - what the hell, right? * The American Eagle Sweatshirt holds no other meaning in the picture other than I was cold.

Feeding the birds with my son - 01/21/2006

It was totally impromptu but turned out to be one of my favorite days I've spent with my son. We had just driven to Greenfield to pick up some fast food for lunch and were on our way back home when we noticed a lot of birds flying around the fish ladder. There was a man and (presumably) his sons feeding the ducks corn and stale bread. Well, I should say attempting to feed the ducks. There were seagulls circling the area and if a duck wasn't fast enough getting to the bread, the gulls would drive and steal it away. (The picture isn't that good because those buggers move so quickly!) He loved watching the gulls do that! "Dad, did you see that?!" he would exclaim, each time like it was a totally new and unique experience. The man left with the kids when we made our way over to the birds. He left the rest of their bread, so my son and I continued where they left off. We were there a good two hours feeding and watching those birds. When we ran out of the bread, we skipped some rocks. The seagulls, thinking we were still throwing bread, drove after the rocks a few times. Afterwards it was finally time to return home and he fell asleep on the way. There are more pictures of the bird watching here.

The adventures of a habitual traffic offender - Part 5

The conclusion of the tale. Here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 if you need a recap.

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On Thursdays, the deli department would post the schedule for the following week. I took the position in the deli because I wanted a part-time job with little responsibility and I like the 8am to 1pm shift. The new schedule posted had me working 12-6 on Monday – I had specifically noted that I would not work after 4pm. No real reason, I just didn’t want to. With this scheduling snafu I saw my opening to quit. Friday came and went. After a weekend of intense mudding with Jay – Black Robes Rule! Mercenary Rules! – I decided not to show up for work. That’ll show ‘um! They called a few times; first out of concern, “Mike, wondering where you are, could you give us a call…”; second to plead, “I see the error on the schedule, if that’s why you didn’t show up just give us a call, we can work it out.” It really wasn’t about the schedule – I hated that job. Jillian and I had seen each other a few times by then. On our first date we watched money train at her apartment. I thought that was a good flick or maybe it was just the company I was with. When we weren’t with each other we would talk for hours about nothing on the phone. She was great. I had a paycheck or two left from the grocery store, so things were ok for a while but part-time, minimum wage checks don’t last long when you’re trying to impress a lady. Before I have even moved in with Jay, he had given his one-month notice to the landlord. He was planning on joining the air force. Also, he and his girlfriend were getting serious, wedding bells and all. I believe after the month was up he’d either move in with her and her mother or back with his parents. In order to join the air force and meet the enlistment requirements, he needed to drop a few pounds. There is a ratio they use where the size of your neck and waist are factored together to obtain your ideal weight. So he went on that no card diet. You know the one, eat the hamburger with no bun, eat the chicken and turkey, and all the veggies you want but leave off the butter and no pasta. [ * Little known factoid, the Atkins diet is named for Dr. Atkins not for being the founder but as the first to die. You see diets are named like diseases. Believe it! ] In high school, Jay and I had “bulked” up on double servings of French fries and grilled cheese. He was the first to get a car and license and we’d go driving. Our poison was Wendy’s Triple Cheeseburgers and after some intense “training” we were able to put away 2 – each! In our junior year we transformed from underweight nerds to beefy techno savvy smartasses. We weren’t really fat; we just filled out our frames a little more. The change was really quick. We really were new people. He and I would hang out with two other friends who were big. Ever since we knew them, they were heavyset and bigger than us. We bulked up and they started to call us fat – Jay got it a little more than I but I got it, too. I politely referred to them as heavyset but come on! How dare those straight from the mayonnaise troth eating, Bacon Churner with Fauxtatoes hoarding, lard asses call us fat! Nevertheless, that diet did the trick for him. He’d have a dry turkey or roast beef sandwich replacing the bread with lettuce and carrots on the side. I couldn’t do it; I don’t have that kind of will power or the cash. [ Poor Man Meice’s knock off spaghetti O’s – Get a 25 cent box of Mac and cheese. Most grocery stores will either have a store brand or some discount on the box stuff. Get a small can of tomato sauce; they are usually under 50 cents. Boil the pasta and drain. Mix half the can of the sauce with the cheese mix. Add the pasta. Enjoy! Its less expensive than the cans of pasta like spaghetti O’s and I think tastes about the same. ] Over the next couple of weeks, Jillian and I were really digging each other. With no job and no prospects, I was able to see her on the fly. I also did not have to worry about getting up in the morning for work, so I was able to snuggle... ahhh. She was working two part-time jobs, one are the convenience store where she lived and the other at a call center in Greenfield. Opposites attract, I guess. Jay had the apartment until the end of December – that meant that I also only had until the end of December. Jillian was coming out of a serious relationship and didn’t want to fall into another one quickly. I tried to convince her I was the least serious person she’d ever meet, but she didn’t buy it. We were friends in high school, flirted up a storm, and even talked about dating. I actually turned her down because I was foolishly pursuing another, what a mistake! Jillian and I had seen a lot of each other over the course of three weeks. After a talk, maybe some pleading, and I’m sure there was a little begging I moved in with her around Christmas. It was conditional – I had to get and keep a job. Luckily, my old agency came through for me one last time. I gave them a ring and they had two positions available. One was working in the laundry room of a college preparatory school in Northfield and the other was for a plastic makeup bottle manufacturing plant in Turners Falls. I was interested in the position in the school as it was closest to me. Unfortunately, the interview didn’t go well. I got a vibe from the manager and I don’t feel I nailed it. When I had lived with Lee in Turners Fall, he worked at this plant also as a temp. He said it was easy work, if you could get into the rhythm of it that is. If he could do it, I’m sure I could do it too as our skills are pretty comparable. After the interview I called the agency and said I would take the bottle job. [ Once during an interview for a system administrator job I really screwed up. Question: “Mr. Henry, could you tell us about your experiences with administering and managing networked computers.” Answer: “I have no legitimate experience…” I rambled on after that, wrong choice of words! Needless to say I didn’t get that job. ] Oh brother, that place was bad. Number One – the shift was 6:30am to 2pm and they wanted you there an unpaid 15 minutes before the shift started. They claimed because you could get out 15 minutes earlier but I never got out early! I’d show up 5 minutes before I was supposed to get there and get yelled at for be late! Ridiculous! Number Two – the machines were more temperamental than the floor supervisor! Everything about that place was fast paced. If the bottles weren’t loaded in the machines fast enough, the machine would go down. If the bottles weren’t loaded into the labeler fast enough, the machine would go down. If you weren’t fast enough clearing and packing the finished bottles from the dispenser, the machine would go down! And finally, Number Three – did I mention the shift was at 6:30am?! That is a horrible shift for a cartoon-addicted insomniac! Wouldn’t you figure, at the end of the third week I had some car trouble. My girlfriend would drive me to and fro. Let me just tell you, neither of us were very pleasant in the morning. The Toronado was in failing health. It wasn’t driving very well, the car would putt and chug. I thought there could be some water in the tank or something, so I gave her a swig of some dry gas but there was no change. I popper her hood, after some initial shyness and embarrassment, I checked her plugs and plug wires - still no improvement. Slowly, she started to slip away. My baby wouldn’t idle and would stall out. With the stalling there was added stress to the starter, which failed one day at the manufacturing plant. I tried tapping it like they say to, but she was gone.

I lifted her head she looked at me and said Hold me darling just a little while I held her close I kissed her our last kiss I found the love I knew I had missed but now she's gone even though I hold her tight I lost my love, my life that night

Pearl Jam - Oh Where Oh Where Could My Baby Be

I called my Grandmother and Putt-Putt (another story) and they gave me a ride to the Northfield apartment. The next day, I returned to work and found that my car had been tagged with a neon orange abandoned car sticker. Through a befriended co-worker, I learned that jerk floor supervisor called in the report! I worked through my shift and Jillian brought me home. There was a tough decision to be made. What to do with that car? The cause of all my headache over these months but also the source of some joy. That car was the only constant thing in my life; it was very hard to let go out. After much soul searching, I decided to do nothing and allow the car to be towed. It was someone else’s problem now. Jillian wasn’t pleased, this meant she’d have to cart me back and forth. I wasn’t thrilled about the 6:30am start time. The floor supervisor was thrilled that I was still breathing or of my performance. So I finished out the week and wasn’t called back. Times were tough for us over the next few months. We were late on rent a few times and the landlord was impressed with that. Once at the store, Jillian overheard that an area artist was looking for some help at his studio. Occasionally on Sundays I would get up with her and help her open the store. I would do the papers while she made the coffee and muffins. After I was finished with the papers I would sit with Jillian until it got busy. After papers one Sunday she introduced me to the artist. He was local with a shop he ran with his wife a few miles down from the fire department. They started selling some of their products via mail order and needed some help with the data entry and production. I’m a little artsy, so I said what the hell. I enjoyed the position and was there for almost 8 maybe 9 months. When I started it was just me, the owners and another girl who was about my age. Down the road they hired a couple of more girls and one of their boyfriends. Everything was great, and then it was September 11th 2001. The owners of the studio had basically left me in charge while they were visiting their family and friends in New York City. September 11th was just another day. I came to work and let myself in with the hidden key. I was working through the production line when news reports broke into the radio program I was listening to. I didn’t quite catch it all, something about a plane. Ignored it and went back to work but then the second plane struck. The owners called and let us know they were ok then I think I went home early for the day to be with Jillian. I continued to work for the art studio until the end of November 2001. Maybe because of September 11th, maybe because of the Discovery Channel documentaries on basic training but whatever the reason I enlisted with the Army under the delayed enlistment program. I was set to leave for Basic Training on February 4th 2002. You were in the Army? Well, that’s classified and another story. I returned from the Army adventure in April of 2002. They Army really helped me get my life together. Jillian and I were still together and in love… ahhh. I had been steadily employed by the gas station down the street from our apartment. With that job I was able to get my car situation turned around. Tickets were paid and driving school was completed. In front of the apartment building next to the Northfield fire department there was a Ford Festiva for sale and for only $200. It had some rust and needed some tires. I had the money and wanted a toy! To date the Festiva was the best car I had ever owned. It was my first stick and it was fun to drive. There were a few websites that showed mods for those cars. I did a little modding and tuning, but since the purchase of this car I’ve kept it legal.

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Well, that’s the end of this adventurous epic of driving an unregistered, uninsured and overall illegal vehicle. I wouldn't recommend doing it to anyone, but if you have no other choice I do have some advice – do it smartly! Drive only to and from work with no extra stops if it can be avoided. Don’t carry weapons or stupid shit with you. Keep your car clean, don’t let it look like you’re living out of your car. Make sure all lights are fully operation and use your directionals – don’t give them a reason to even look at you! Finally, if you do get caught pull over right away and explain your situation. They’re human, too. They could relate to your story or situation if you’re sincere (or convince them that you are) but any chance of that would go out the window if you unsuccessfully run away. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story. It was longer than I expected it to be.

The adventures of a habitual traffic offender - Part 4

This is part 4 of hopefully only a 5 part story. I try to keep each post about 4 pages as determined in Microsoft Word. This story was a lot more involved than I thought it would be. Here is part 1, 2, and 3 for a recap. Part 3 was the most action packed of this story.

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Due to rain, I couldn’t for on the car for the next few days. The first clear day, however, we were out there taking care of business. Lee also had some things he wanted work on with is car. He had picked up some tires from a junkyard and was replacing his worn ones. Jesse was out there… supervising, I guess. The battery of my parts car was dead and most of the electrical system was stripped out. The windows were electrical and the passenger side window was rolled down – somehow I had to get it up and out. I tried splicing in a 12-volt lead from my good car, but either it wasn’t the right wires or the motor was dead. Supervisor Jesse came over and pointed out the two rivets that held the glass to the bar that raised or lowered the window. Thanks Jesse, take a break, pal, you’ve earned it! With a standard screwdriver (you know, the flathead), I broke away the rivet. With each pull of the glass, I couldn’t figure out how to angle it without the glass shattering! I couldn’t risk breakage anymore so from my toolbox I retrieved my hacksaw and proceeded to remove the top of the door. 2 blades and 20 minutes later the top was removed and the window easily came out. I laid it in the back seat of my good car. With the primary goal of the mission accomplished, it was time for the secondary objectives; search and rescue of any survivors. The car still had its computer and dashboard, yank! In my car the dashboard would turn off every once and a while. I had hoped this would fix it, but after the swap out – no change, it would still intermittently short out. Must have been some other electrical problem, probably the wiring. I also swapped the relays of both cars, also no change. Unfortunately, the motor was picked clean. The power steering pump and supply lines were removed. The tires of the parts care were in great shape and mounted on the factory aluminum rims – SCORE! My car had some beefy used snow tires my father gave me but the were on the steel rims, so the factory rims would be a nice upgrade. Plus I could leave a donut spare on the parts car and keep a steel rimmed tire for a full-size spare! As I was finishing the swap of the final tire and Lee was finishing up to his project by topping off his oil, our neighbors in blue came over to ask for a cup of sugar. Two cruisers pulled in, each blocking an exit and three officers came over to greet us. “What’s going on guys?” One officer inquired. “Just working on our car, Office.” Lee said, dropping his hood closed. “We had a report of some cars being vandalized and possibly stripped.” Great, the plan was no undue attention! “Well, sir, I don’t know anything about that. We’ve been rotating our tires and I’m trying to fix my passenger side window.” I said. Where did Jesse get to? “These cars yours?” “Yeah, these two Toronadoes are.” “Registered?” With no hesitation I answered, “Yes, sir. One is. I just picked up this one.” I really hoped they wouldn’t call me on it. Luckily, I didn’t recognize any of the officers as being the ones who’d previously had my car towed. “You have a title for this car?” “I have…” I reached into the parts car and produced an envelope. “I have both the bill of sale and the title.” He reached out for the envelope and I handed it to him. He withdrew the papers, compared the VIN number to the one of the car and handed the papers back. “We take these complaints seriously and have to check them out. As you were, gentlemen.” As an after thought, I think, the Officer added, “I don’t want to see any car parts trashing this place up. Pick up after yourself. Have a good day.” “No worries Officer! We’re almost done.” He was already in his cruiser and backing out. The parts car had already been picked clean and there were no other part of any use to me. The incident with the police sucked up a lot of time and daylight was fading fast. Before I went inside for the night, I scribbled out a quick note.

VEHICLE TO BE TOWED FOR JUNK REMOVAL KEY/PAPERWORK IN GLOVEBOX

When I awoke the next morning I scanned the phone book for free removal of junk cars. I called a couple places before I got a taker. I setup a tow for the afternoon – SUCKERS! Then I drove up to Brattleboro to solicit help to install the window from my father. In under 10 minutes, he had the window installed and in perfect working order. Thanks Dad! On the way back home I had to pick up an air freshener. With the widows now up, it got musty and rank due to exposure to the rain. The temp agency called and offered me a data entry position. Good time, rent for November would be due in a couple of weeks. After hearing what the position consisted of, I eagerly accepted. The position was for a pickle shop in South Deerfield. They were in the process of converting systems and wanted to digitize all of their printed recipes and operating procedures. The digitized information would then me entered into a database. There were a few dozen binders that needed to be imported and the position was slated to last for a couple of months. I eagerly accepted the position because the shift was 4pm to 12am! My dream shift! There’d be no change to my routine, I usually stayed up until 1:30 am anyhow – now I’d have the morning and early afternoon open! My first day I was late, but only by 10 minutes – give or take a few. Am I the master of first impressions or what? In my defense, I did have trouble finding the place. The directions given to me by the agency weren’t the best. After going through the customary, “Hi, my name is Mike. I will be your temp today” greeting, I jumped right into the project. The rest of the day went smoothly. The second day, not so much. I arrived on time and the job it self was fine. I went out to my car for break so I could listen to Eminem or They Might Be Giants. I must have turned the parking lights on when I turned the dome light on and not have turned them off when I turned to dome light off. When my shift was over I came out find my car had a dead battery. I phone the apartment and an irritated Lee showed up with his other cousin Levi and jumped me. The next week on my way home I ran out of gas. Thanks to the help of a Good Samaritan, I was given some gas and able to make it home. I had run out of gas twice before in that car and was in constant fear of doing so again. With the dashboard being digital and periodically shorting out, I never really knew how much gas I had. Even when the dash was working I don’t feel the gauge was accurate. Unfortunately, running out of gas would not be my biggest worry. One night I was coming home from work and a car got really close to me, then backed off. Again, got close and backed off. I couldn’t tell if it was a cap, or a punk kid. We drove under a streetlight and I saw the light bar. Crap! I let off the gas a little, my mind was racing. I had to get out of there and fast, but where? Down the road a bit I saw my escape, a side street - yes! I had no idea where the road lead but I had to give it a try! Just before the street I put my blinker on and took the turn hard - little too hard as I fishtailed. A few houses down was a van. I pulled into it’s driveway and killed the lights. I pulled the e-brake and took my foot off the brakes. Maybe it wasn’t a cop. Just relax and breathe. As I exhaled, a cruiser came charging down the road and blew past me. He was out of sight within seconds. I put it in neutral and let off the e-brake – the backup and break lights would have given me away, again but I had learned my lesson. I stopped with the e-brake and threw it in drive. I drove with no lights until I was back out on the main road. I hauled ass back to the apartment where my roommates and I had a good laugh about it. “You idiot, don’t take a back road at night!” “Yeah, yeah.” From then on, that is exactly what I did – highway only. There were no incidents again, totally uneventful while I worked through the end of the pickle shop assignment. The assignment ended early I wasn’t thrilled about that, neither was Lee. The life style I was living was fun and free, but it was wearing thin. Lee was getting tired of it too. I got a real job at a local grocery store in the deli department. Too little, too late - Lee and I had a little falling out. I moved out in early December and in with another buddy of mine names Jay. I was there for a few weeks. We actually both got jobs at the grocery store at the same time, he got the meat department and I got the deli department. When I moved in with him I started seeing a girl name Jillian. There was something special about that girl. We dated for a couple weeks and were pretty hot ‘n heavy. I moved in with her just before Christmas. New job, new girlfriend. Happy ending? Not just yet, true believers! Check out the conclusion coming soon!

...oddest keyword result todate

I like to know who found me and how especially with this whole deal where the government is requesting search engines provide a "random" sampling of webpage search results. They say its to see how wide spread child porn on the internet is or how often its searched for or what have you. Obtaining the subpoenaed information from Google “would assist the government in its efforts to understand the behavior of current Web users, (and) to estimate how often Web users encounter harmful-to-minors material in the course of their searches,” the Justice Department wrote in a brief filed Wednesday. But that's a crock. Its lazy lawyers not doing the case work. I only use Google! Not only because they've bitch slapped the Department of Justice but because they're #1! MSN is lame, Yahoo! is lame, and Astalavista is great for those back alley searches but Google is #1! "For instance, it’s not unusual for search requests to include names, medical profiles or Social Security information, said Pam Dixon, executive director for the World Privacy Forum." Idiots, you're all idiots! When search engines find, for instance, my site it isn't always as I've intended it to be found. After I reset my counter, I started to keep track of keywords. These are the two oddest keyword combinations I've seen in the log todate: PUMPED RIPPED MUSCLES BLOG. and HAVA A TRAILER AND NEED A JOB. For the first, I'm #8 in the search results! The combination was found in part 1 of the 5 or 6 part story about my adventures with an unregistered car when I was describing an incident with my roommate Lee's BB gun. For the second, I'm #5 in the search results! This comination was found in part 2 of my unregistered car story. Wow. I can't wait to see where else I pop-up! You're search may have just begun, but The End is Now!

The adventures of a habitual traffic offender - Part 3

This is part 3, if you haven’t yet be sure to check out part 1 and part 2 of this epic tale.

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In September, I got a job in South Deerfield doing data entry for the “famous” candle company. An easy, laid back position with the bonus of coming home smelling like candles! I wasn’t even in a building that made candles, the only candles I saw were in the mock stores used to create the plan-o-grams and I reeked! One day, either at work or along the way home, I touched something. I have no idea what I touched but I have very sensitive skin. I don’t know if I had a reaction to a candle that I touched, mold, or a plant but I touched something that causes my hands to erupt in small blisters that were extremely itchy!! I called out of work the next day. My hands had gotten worse over the night and I kept waking up, catching myself itching thus breaking the blisters. After I called out I drove over to the emergency room. I had to go there because I didn’t have heath insurance. Matter-of-factly, they gave me a prescription for prednisone and a slip for my work. Even with the doctor’s note and my hands as evidence, the client didn’t seem to understand the necessity of my calling out. They must have thought the white gloves I wore during the recover were a fashion statement. The assignment was scheduled to end in a couple of weeks and 9 out of the 10 business days that remained I heard at least one comment on my gloves. During this time, my Toronado was still illegal. I tried to keep to my plan of only driving back and forth to work. I made sure to set the cruse to the speed limit and not bring any undue attention to the car. I even took the weapons from the trunk. If I needed to get someplace I’d tag along with either Lee (something it was him and his girlfriend) or his cousin Jesse. Because of Jesse’s schedule, he couldn’t come along on many trips, so Lee and I mostly had the adventures. Right off the bat, let me say that Lee was a great driver! I’d give him a hard time sometimes because not only was he the safest driver I knew, he was also the most reckless. Each thing he did with the car I thought was cool, I equally thought was terrifying. Once, on our way to the Ingelside Mall, we stopped in Greenfield to take out some cash and fuel up. Lee had a white, 2-door Buick Skyhawk. It had a peppy 4-cylinder engine he knew how to get full power out of. With the tank topped off, Lee went inside to pay. He came running out of the station, jumped on the hood, ran across and hopped down. The car was paid for and he wasn’t bothering anyone it was innocent and playful. As he was showing off, a car drove by and yelled something scolding at him. “Grow up”, “Get a life”, or maybe even “You asshole.” All seem like something that could have been said. At this point only Lee and the old man (yes, old man but I’ll get to that in a minute) know for sure. The next thing I or his girlfriend - who is sitting in the back - knew, we’re in a high-speed chase! It was like the movies! No, it was like frogger! He was weaving and dodging through the cars like that damned frog attempting to cross the road and the river while avoid cars and logs. It was a little scary at first as I didn’t quiet understand why we were chasing the car but as he drove he explained it to me and I was pumped, it soon was very exciting! No one is going to yell shit at us and get away with it! Booya! Car after car was passed or cut off, there were no accidents - so fear not! With Lee’s adept driving skill, he caught up with the offending car that’d stopped at an optometrist's office next to a pizza/sub place. He whipped the car around and blocked a side road. “Take care of my car if this goes bad!” He tossed his hat on the seat, ran out and over to the other car. As he was heading over there, his girlfriend and I had our own situation. One of the car’s he’d cut off pulled in behind us and the driver got out of the car. The woman came over to the open driver’s side door. “What the hell is wrong with you?” the woman demanded of us. Lee’s girlfriend and I looked at each other. I shrugged. “Lots of stuff, lady.” I wish it had been zingier! Like – Oh, your face! Yeah, that would have been a sweet line! “I have my son in the car with me! You could have killed us! Someone call the police!” “Look, lady. See where I’m sitting! You’re squawking to the wrong guy!” Is what I should have said, instead I nodded my head and said “Uh-huh.” While the woman was boring us, I missed the exchanged between Lee and the passenger of the car. No fisticuffs, only words were exchanged. All that for nothing! Lee walked away from the car laughing. He walked past the woman who attempted to block his way. “Get the hell out of my way!” He got past her and sat in the drivers seat. With both hands she held on the partially rolled down window to try and prevent him from closing the door. “Bitch, you better not break my glass!” “I have my kid in that car! You could have killed us!” “Let go of my car before I run you down!” He pushed the door into her and pulled back, she couldn’t hold on. Lee floored it, chirping the tires and we made our get away. To get the final word, the lady yelled, “I’m calling the police!” Someone should have told her to have a nice day, now that would have been great. We made it to the mall and did some shopping. Lee bought a new car stereo and some 6x9s. I forget what, if anything, I happened to buy. The incident wasn’t thought of or mentioned again until we got back to the apartment. “Well, I guess I should call the cops and see if that fat-ass reported me.” I was shocked and impressed. He could do the crime and willing to do the time! What a guy! “You serious?” I had to ask, no way was he really serious. He was already dialing. “Hi, this is Lee (so & so). I was just wondering, are you looking for me?” Those were really his word – you looking for me? “Should we be, sir?” I was listening over his shoulder. “I’m just wondering if any complaints were called in against me or anything like that. I had some car trouble earlier today – my plate number is (blah blah).” “Well, I don’t see anything but if you’d like to come down to the station we could talk more about it.” “Heh. No thanks, that’s all right. Thanks for checking.” He hung up. That blow hard didn’t call the police after all. I believe we then partook in the pizza eating and watching of the home video. There were other, smaller incidents and more reckless driving, but we were never caught and we never got into any accidents. Luck of the dice, I suppose. My Toronado was in rough shape and it was getting rougher. I had no power steering. I didn’t know that the power steering line ran along the passenger’s side of the undercarriage, I guess to allow for cooling – I’m not a mechanic I just own the wrenches. I didn’t know but I really wish I had. I also didn’t know that one of the mounts was broken and the line was hanging off the car. Again, something I really wish I had known. While on a dirt road driving to my mother’s, the line got caught on something and it jerked the car off the road. A branch went into the passenger side window, breaking it into thousands of pieces. The line was snapped and fluid was leaking on the ground. Luck, though, finally smiled on me. One day driving home, I spotted a Toronado on the side of the road for sale. The cardboard sign said $100. The interior was ripped to hell and gutted. The motor was picked apart and stripped. The windows, on the other hand were in good shape. I knocked on the door of the house. The guy came out and knocked my socks off. He said if I could get a tow truck there today I could have it. FREE! SCORE! I had a tow truck there in 15 minutes. I had them drop off the parts Toronado in the lot behind the diner. After paying a $50 tow bill, I was still ahead. The data entry assignment ended in late October. Rent was coming due. A tuna sandwich and two meals of white rice a day, almost every day isn’t that great - believe it! Where would I find my next job, was a free parts car too good to be true and when would the boys in blue pay us another visit ? And is there possibly love in the air for our hero? This and more in the next installment!

The adventures of a habitual traffic offender - Part 2

Check out part 1 of this epic tale. As an FYI, the car I drove was a 1986 or 1987 Oldsmobile Toronado/Trofeo. The headlights had a cover that would flip down and it had a powerful v6 engine, this wasn't the v8 model.

---

Some weeks had past since my run in with Brattleboro's finest and there hadn't been any further incidents. I was working on saving some cash to get things on the up and up. Things don't always turn out as you'd like them to, expect them to, or need them to. I had lost my job at the printer repair place - which was not an entirely bad thing. What happened was... well, lets just say there were professional differences. Two months working for this guy down the drain. Easy come, easy go. My father wasn't thrilled about the loss of the job. I don't know how he knew but he came to the apartment during his lunch break and found me there. I packed my stuff and drove to Massachusetts after my Dad went back to work. He didn't kick me out or even know that I was leaving, I just up and left. I had no job and no prospects in Brattleboro, I knew the Greenfield area and could get a job easily - South Deerfield always had clerical or data entry jobs up for the taking. During the time I was in Vermont, my friend Lee has moved into his own apartment with his cousin Jesse. I ran into him once while driving through Turners Falls. He offered me a place to stay and when I drove into Massachusetts I was going to cash in the offer. [ The trailer was cool, but that apartment was awesome! It was above a bar/night club – a scrubby, dirty one to boot! Music would shake the apartment until 1 a.m. or so. Our neighbors were always yelling and causing a disturbance. Lee and I would life weights until muscle failure. We’d eat tuna fish on white bread and white rice with ketchup. After a while plain white bread was boring, so I bought a toaster. Tuna on toast is 100 times better! Sometimes we’d order a bunch of egg rolls from next door and pig out. Lee didn’t want to get caught for violating his lease, so Jesse and I would duck out and hide when his landlord would come by. Good times! ] So I showed up on his door step and claimed his couch. It was a small couch, more of a love seat. Life in Massachusetts began again. As a telling of things to come, the Friday of my first week there the fuzz came a calling. I guess that I parked in a neighbors spot and I didn’t move it for a week, they phoned in an abandoned car complaint. No hard feelings, I would have too. Since my car wasn’t legal to drive, I didn’t drive it. Simple enough. We would either take Lee’s car or I’d walk. When I showed up, Lee told me to park the car in the lot behind the diner next door. I never bothered to move it. I don’t know why but I happened to look out the window as the boys in blue were popping my trunk. I don’t remember leaving the doors unlock or maybe they jimmied the lock – all I know for sure was I was down the stairs in 10 seconds flat. When I got down the stair and over to the car one officer was brandishing one of my swords* and the other was counting my cash. [ * My mother moved from Northfield out to Merrimac. When she did, she gave me a reproduction barbarian sword, flail and battle axe. I also had a Marine Saber I bought from a tag sale. Having just moved from my father’s apartment, I didn’t fully unpack the car yet. You make the call, which red flag is… redder, 50 one dollar bills rolled and secured with a rubber band – drug dealer/pimp style or two swords, a battle axe, and a flail? Luckily I had removed the bodies of the hookers stuffed with cocaine from the trunk. ] “This your car?” The officer counting the money asked. “What’s the problem?” As I asked the officer who was previously wielding my barbarian sword produced the flail from my trunk. “Um. Those are fake, sir.” A spiked-ball on a chain fashioned to wood, reproduction – sure, deadly weapon – yes. Thanks for the gifts, Mom! “We had a report of an abandoned vehicle. This car can’t be here, it can’t legally be on the road. The tow truck is on the way.” “Sir, I know the registration has expired. That’s why it’s parked here. I found out that it was expired and stopped driving it! That’s why its parked here! I just moved here, " I pointed toward the window that my two roommates were looking out of. “I didn’t know I couldn’t park here, could I just move it over to this lot?” "This vehicle can’t be on a public road and I can’t allow you to drive this vehicle. The tow truck is on the way.” He looked over the car. “I understand you were trying to do the right thing. I won’t have the car taken to impound but it can’t stay here. You can make the arrangements with the tow truck driver.” He seemed nice enough and I’m sure that had his partner not been there or the tow truck en route, He’d have let me move it. The tow truck didn’t take long to show up. I tried to get the guy to drop me off around the block but he wouldn’t. He would only drop the car off on private property. My grandmother was closest but I couldn’t use her – I would have been served a heaping of lecture, seasoned with you should know better, with a tall glass of you should visit more. I wasn’t quiet in the mood. Then it hit me; I knew where I could take it. Here comes brother Mike with his car on a flatbed to brother Joe’s apartment. Luckily his driveway was clear. The car was offloaded quickly and I handed over my wad of Washington’s – thanks for counting them officer! With all the commotion, my brother came outside. “What the hell, you can’t keep this here,” he said, obviously annoyed with me. (I have that affect on most people.) “Yeah, I know! It’s not broke down or anything. I’ll explain later.” When the tow truck drove away, so did I. For the next day and a half, the car was left at a storage locker facility my father and I used while we were moving. The locker was still ours until the end of the month, so I figured I could leave my car there next to it with out any issue. Lee brought me over to pick up the car. Oh man, the car was trashed! As I was going through and putting some papers back into the glovebox, the manager of the facility came running over. “Hey Mike, dis yer car?” “Yeah, why?” He remembered my name, but not my car? Come on, how many Toronados are driving around in his lot? There is only one I know of! “I hava yer stuff in da office. I was just about ta call a wrecka.” Deep breath, exhale. Deep breath, exhale. I followed him back to his office. From a drawer in his desk he proceeded to produce my They Might Be Giants CDs, my swords, a SVGA video card and my CD player’s faceplate. Would he have turned those over to the wrecker or police? Hmm… Lee followed me back to the apartment. This time I parked down with Jesse, in the lot behind the diner and… across from the police station. Yup, you heard right – the police station! Summer turned to fall and things were basically uneventful. How long would it last? We’ll see.

Come on Google, give me a break!

Oh what the hell! I posted an update on this site for my Northfield Markers with a link to the site. This site was indexed when that article was up. For the moment, this blog is the #1 search result when you search for "Northfield Massachusetts historical markers" and the kick to the nuts is that my actual photo collection - with the same key words - isn't even listed in the top 100 search results! I don't understand how things are classified. My Resume website is listed #36 under the keywords: "ibm enetwork personal communicator". Anyway, I just updated the Northfield Markers page and added a text-only page to be considerate to dial-up users That's it, it's all over - I won't be updating that area guide again. In my book, its done. I'm currently putting together Greenfield's monuments page. I think I have all of them, but I need to do some more checking before posting the page. If your interested in this boring monument stuff worry not for I have more projects like that underway. I have 90% of a graveyard in Northfield catalogued and will finish it in the spring when the snow is gone and the grass is green. There is also a graveyard here in Millers Falls and one in Leyden I'm cataloguing. Why? It started when I was taking gravestone pictures for my genealogy website. I would take a few extra pictures of stones with the same surname in the off chance they may be related and it would save me another trip. I wondered how hard it would be to catalogue a whole cemetary and I'm finding its a more daunting task than I thought. Thanks for everyones interest. If you came here from some oddball keyword combination - stay awhile and read through the site - you may like what you see. Peace.

The adventures of a habitual traffic offender

I was reminded of these series of events after reading a story on the blog MisterOrange. I found his blog after an article ( The Top 10 System Administrator Truths ) of his was Farked. I don't usually read those kinds of articles. Most of them that I've read are petty and void of insight. This list... well, was pretty decent. It wasn't whiney and had a few good points. ( The most impressive part was that there was no Microsoft bashing! Nothing pisses me of more that the fools who blame Microsoft for their inept troubleshooting ability or reasoning skills. Oh, but that's another story. ) So I read other stories on his blog. His stories are well written and (more importantly) entertaining. Another of his stories caught my eye. The story was about his run in with the police and some car hijinx. Check it out here, its titled Running - its a four part story. That got me thinking about some of my own car follies. Here is the first story of many. Enjoy.

---

It was the summer of 2000, I had just turned 19 and at this time, my parents were going through a divorce. I had just moved with my father in Greenfield after one of my best friends, Lee, and I had lost our apartment.

Lee's father was subletting his trailer to us. It was a cool little place. We used to setup soda cans, tin cans and other stuff to shoot with our BB guns. I had a black QuickSilver gun, not that powerful but fun. Lee had a powerful multi pump gun that would rip through cans and deep into the drywall behind it. That wall was really shot up when we moved out. One time a BB ricocheted off a tin can and hit a body mirror that belonged to his father.. oops.

The trailer was also a creepy place. Sometimes we'd wake up and it felt like some was watching us! Lee was convinced the place was haunted - I don't know anything about ghosts or hauntings but someone or something was in there with us... CREEPY!

So anyway, after renting the place for a few months Lee's father needed the place back. We had some money saved up but didn't have any leads on apartments. We went our separate ways, I moved back in with my father - I'm not sure where he went.

I stayed in Greenfield for a few weeks then my father and I moved to Brattleboro, Vermont.

I got a job up there servicing printers for a small shop. Pay wasn't great but I liked the work and it was enough to cover my minor bills - except for my car insurance!

Over the course of the moves I did not have my mail forwarded or held at the post office. So the monthly bills - my credit card and my car insurance weren't getting to me. Who knows where the hell those were getting mail! Did you know that those vultures will cancel your policy and registration if you don't pay?! Yeah, so did I.

One night I was heading home, I had just got out of work and picked up some dinner at KFC. I jumped on the highway and went down to exit 2. After I got off the exit and a little before the covered bridge I noticed a car starting to tailgate me. I could tell by the style of the headlights it was a crown victoria - crap, a cop! Crap my car insurance! Crap, I dropped a wing on my pants!

Up the street on the left was the covered bridge and it was coming up quick. I flipped the blinker - no way in hell am I having failure to signal tacked on - and took the corner hard. I really opened it up through the bridge. I cranked the wheel right and pulled the e-brake, taking a hard fast turn into a parking lot next to a baseball field. I pulled into a space and shut off my lights. I also put my seat belt on - again, I'm not getting that fine tacked on!

Not 5 seconds later, here comes the heat - full sirens and lights!

Crap, crap, crappity, crap! I now know I didn't wait long enough but as soon as the cruiser passed the parking lot I flipped on my lights and drove back out over the bridge. The officer must have seen my lights or just had a sixth sense - in the rear view I saw that cruiser pull a donut and head in my direction.

I had just made it over the bridge and a couple of minutes down the road when he caught up with me. I was stuck behind a truck who was going the speed limit - the nerve of some people! I put the blinker on and pulled over. I rolled down the window and waited.

The officer hopped out of the car. "Nice try," he said with a smile.

"I'm not sure what you mean, sir." My heart was thumping, trying to escape from my chest.

"License and registration."

I picked them up off the passenger seat and with shaky hands handed them to him. He went back to his cruiser.

This is it, I thought. I'm going to be arrested. I don't know the number to our new place. Who the hell am I going to call?!

After what seemed like an eternity the office came back to my window.

"Step out of the vehicle, please." He said, no longer smiling. This was it. "Mr. Henry" - no, not the Mr. Henry... "this is an unregistered vehicle."

"Uh, well.." I stammered.

"This is also an uninsured vehicle."

"Well sir, I had just moved up here from Massachusetts and my mail must not..." actually who knows what I rambled on about.

"In Massachusetts, I would have to arrest" ... arrest, arrest, arrest... "you and impound the vehicle." Arrest was ringing and echoing through my brain. "Mr Henry, this is a ticket for driving an unregistered vehicle with expired tags - $217.50. Sign here." He handed me the ticket pad, I jotted my herbie hancock and handed it back. "Mr. Henry, this is a ticket for driving an uninsured vehicle - $217.50. Sign here." Again, he handed me the pad and I signed - I hope the signatures didn't need to match!

His lapel transceiver erupted and called for his attention. He hit his talk button and muttered something into it.

"Mr Henry, in Massachusetts, I would have to arrest you but" He said why, something about the classification of the offense in that state but I can't remember for sure, all I cared about was that I wasn't going to be arrested! "I have a call I must get to. I'm not going to call a tow truck, I will leave you on your honor to do the right thing."

"Thank you, Officer." Yes, thank you very much!

My honor lasted the whole of two minutes - the amount of time it took for him to walk away, get into his cruiser then drive off - in the opposite direction of where I was headed! When the red tail lights could no longer be seen I ran back to the car, hopped in and took off. With a leadfoot I raced back home.

I didn't have the means to correct the situation and I didn't have $435.00 for the fines. I resolved to be more careful. Only go to work and to home, no extra stops until I could rectify the situation. How long did this plan work? Well, see.

...eggnog: a year in review.

1st: Hood Golden Egg nog. Hood Golden Eggnog tops my list. It is the best all around for my money. Lets face it, egg nog is expensive! If I'm going to dish out the dough, its going to be for the good stuff.

2nd: Hood Light Egg nog. This is not a Diet Coke vs Coke Classic situation. Hood Light Egg nog not only tastes just like the Golden but contains 50% less fat! I wish I had tried this stuff sooner - in all honestly, I only picked this up because it was the last run batch of the season, was on sale and included a $1.00 off coupon. Hard to pass up a bargain!

3rd: Oakhurst brand. This was the first egg nog of the season that I bought. Wal-Mart in New Hampshire carries this brand. Its not bad. Not bad at all. It's a little cheaper than Hood, so that could be a deciding factor for some people.

4th: Stop & Shop Store store brand. This is the only store brand I sampled before the season ended. Next year I will try others. I would have tried the Big Y brand also but its package was styled more like the Garelick Farms brand. No thanks. I tried the one that looked more like Hood. Its a store brand and didn't expect much. Its not all that bad but come on. They charge just about the same as Hood and it no where near tastes like it. If its on sale, a really good sale I might consider the possibility of purchase. Maybe not.

5th: Garelick Farms brand. NO THANK YOU! I drank most of this one quart carton and threw the rest out. After the first mug of this I had a flash back to my youth. This was the kind of cheap egg nog my parents would by. I was traumatized by cheap egg nog and for years I wouldn't touched the stuff. You have to have a taste for this brand. If you savor each sip in your mouth for a moment your tastebuds can sort though the flavor. Again, NO THANK YOU. I won't be buying this brand again.

That's it for this season, Hood won - hands down!

Next season, I'm going to buy Hood for all our parties and for our personal consumption. I want to try both hard and sans booze nogs including the Big Y store brand, more local and commercial brands - I saw a Southern Comfort brand. So many different flavors for such a simple brew of milk, cream, eggs and some spices. Maybe I'll make my own, too. Alton Brown did an episode for Egg Nog and at the Great Big Food Show I picked up his Chef card with another of his Egg Nog recipes on it. I can't wait!

See you next season!

...honor among thieves

We went to the Hampshire Mall on Saturday (01/07/06). My wife's brother wanted to go to the EB there and next door to the Barnes & Noble. First we went over to the Barnes & Noble. As we were driving in the front of the Wal-Mart an older couple started crossing infront of us. I slowed to give them time enough to walk, I did not stop. For some reason, or at least I felt like, they started to walk slower as they passed in front of us. THEN the man made a face at me, I had to make it back - of course! He then proceed to flip me off and I drove over to our store. I still don't fully understand the whole exchange, maybe he thought we were punk kids - I don't know. I wonder what would have happened had he done that 6 years ago - we'll never really know I guess. After we parked my Wife, son and I did some shopping in Michael's. Her brother walked down to Barnes & Noble. My son had a little accident in the store, so I brought him out to the car for a quick change. (What is the best thing about potty training...? NOTHING!) He was changed and feeling fresh and that's when I spotted it. A small black suitcase with wheels just laying behind my car. In the dark it looked brand new, infact the case still had the plastic tag holders on it! My mind raced with possibilities of how this case came to be here. There was only one logical conclusion.... It must have been stolen. Obviously. I came to the conclusion that the thief.. no, the gang of thieves ripped off a local store and after a heated foot chase dropped their loot here. Were they apprehended? Were they coming back after the heat was off? I couldn't wait to find out. I opened the trunk with the remote latch, deftly scooped up the case and tucked in me booty... aargh, i knows me treasure when me sees it! With the shopping and drive home complete, I quickly brought my ill-gotten booty inside to check it out. aargh, and what be contained in thar? A Mach3 razor, 2 replacement blades in the holder and a cotton-swab in... questionable condition. YUCK! I had to disinfect my hands in boiling bleach - I didn't want to catch the things you tend to catch from old cotton swabs. So... No longer am I the pirate who stole their booty from a lousy thief but I am now a good citizen with an environmental conscious - oh the irony!

...site moved

I'm pretty sure that I've completed the transition from my old site to this domain. There are two topics that I haven't moved yet, one concerning the adventures of home ownership and the other for my digital artwork. I haven't decided on the format I want to use with those. The comic is currently setup under a blog template, but I'm playing with some php scripts - like Walrus, the script that runs Hate Song. Blogger has some nice templates, I chose the Minima one for this site as a starting point. I've edited it a very little. I'll personalize it some more one of these days. Blogger is a pretty nice service... #1 becauses it free and #2 you're not stuck using a free host that's overrun with ads! I don't use ads, if an ad pops up when you're looking at any of my sites you have a bad case of ad/spyware! Seriously, who clicks on the ads? Especially the ones that either begin or end with the plea "Help Support our site!" Give me a break! Most pay-per-click sites offer maybe a cent or two per unique click. So lets say, I have 100 visitors and by some luck all 100 are interested in a third parties ad.. I may get 1.00! Hooray, McDonald's here I come! But hold up, most pay-per-click sites have a minimum amount you need to earn before they'll pay - usually $20. So I'll need 2000 - UNIQUE - visitors to click some lame ad! There are also the pyramid programs and all that crap. No thanks. I'll put a banner button or two for sites I visit often but that's it and there are no kick backs. There is one draw back. I don't like how Blogger handles the images. They're all throw into one directory and an arbitrary five digit number is added to them. Its a pain. So, anyway. This site is up now. Enjoy. Yadda yadda yadda. If you like/hate any article I've written, photo I've taken or whatever please drop me a line I'd love you hear about it. If you've found me via search engine could you drop me a comment and let me know which one and the key word. Thanks.

And so there I was...

I don't think I was meant to get to work on time or heaven forbid, early. I had just dropped my son off at his grandmother's house and was heading off to work. Not 5 minutes down the road and it started getting a little slick. I tapped the breaks and it was all over. I didn't lock the breaks. I had almost regained control but by that time I was in the snow bank. I tried to rock it out, but I was in too deep. I walked back up to my wife's mother's house. Her step-dad helped pull out the car with his plow. Oh and have I mentioned that this is a borrowed car? No? How about that I'm borrowing it from him? Yeah... that was a comfortable situation. I took these pictures incase the car was messed up or were needed for insurance purposes. The car was fine, so they weren't needed. Oh well, I was only 35 minutes late to work. Most of that delay was my defeated walk back. Gulf Road in Northfield is really bad in the winter. The only redeeming quality it has is it's scenery. After a heavy, sticky snow that covers the trees it feels like you are driving through a tunnel. So far this year, there really hasn't been that kind of snow. I stopped half way down the mountain and snapped a picture of icicles on some rocks.

2005 Site Archives - The Year in Review

These are all the posts from 2005. Enjoy them. Learn from them. Worship them. Most of these were not hosted on TheEndisNow.com originally but were on my other site, www.hgenco.org. I reformatted them and incorporated them here.

Posts from June 2005 06/05/2005 - Britney married Michael Henry

I photoshopped the cover of People that featured Britney and Kevin after they were married. Too much time on my hands, I guess.

06/06/2005 - Lame Cheney Photoshop

Weird and lame.

06/11/2005 - Michael Henry looking... Unabomber-ish

Because it made me smile.

06/15/2005 - Michael Henry's American Flag

God Bless America.

06/16/2005 - Michael Henry is a Quaker

Photoshop is my friend.

06/18/2005 - sappy horse sappiness

Horses kissing.

06/24/2005 - ...the end is now

A sunset in Northfield, view from the RT10 bridge.

Posts from July 2005 07/05/2005 - Our New Jersey / Washington, D.C. Trip

Write up from the family trip to Washington, D.C.

07/10/2005 - batten down the hatches, thars a storm brewin'

A picture of a flash flood.

07/21/2005 - Snappleman is here!

My son with a snapple box on his head.

Posts from August 2005 08/14/2005 - Greenfield, Massachusetts: Poet's Seat Tower on Rocky Mountain

Write up about Poet's Seat Tower in Greenfield.

08/27/2005 - The Wiggles Concert Trip

Write up about the family going to watch the Wiggles in Concert.

08/28/2005 - One year down...

My wife and I were married for a whole year on this day.

Posts from September 2005 09/07/2005 - Northfield, Massachusetts: Historical Monuments, Markers and Plaques

Write up about all the markers of Northfield.

09/25/2005 - Day out with Thomas, Edaville USA

Write up about the family trip to visit Edaville's Day out with Thomas.

09/25/2005 - Jillian's 25th Birthday Dinner

My wife turned 25 and it was out first visit to All Fired Up!

Posts from October 2005 10/15/2005 - ...meet the new boss, same as the old boss

My digital camera died and somehow I found the exact model on clearance.

Posts from November 2005 11/14/2005 - ... Just doing my part (Bird Flu)

One of my favorite posts to date. The bird flu is the biggest joke.

11/15/2005 - ...You ate what? (My Sushi Experience)

I love Sushi.

11/24/2005 - Happy Thanks... for nothing!

I crashed my wife's car on Thanksgiving. Fun, fun.

Posts from December 2005 12/17/2005 - ...the war hits home

On a trip to Walmart I discovered a few different types of snack cakes. Just happened to fit in with the "hot" topic of the War on Christmas. Screw you, Bill. Jackass. I'm surprised I never heard the blowhard, Oprah, mention this. If I had I swear I'd cancel cable.

12/25/2005 - Merry Christmas

Holiday's are great.