On Thursdays, the deli department would post the schedule for the following week. I took the position in the deli because I wanted a part-time job with little responsibility and I like the 8am to 1pm shift. The new schedule posted had me working 12-6 on Monday – I had specifically noted that I would not work after 4pm. No real reason, I just didn’t want to. With this scheduling snafu I saw my opening to quit. Friday came and went. After a weekend of intense mudding with Jay – Black Robes Rule! Mercenary Rules! – I decided not to show up for work. That’ll show ‘um! They called a few times; first out of concern, “Mike, wondering where you are, could you give us a call…”; second to plead, “I see the error on the schedule, if that’s why you didn’t show up just give us a call, we can work it out.” It really wasn’t about the schedule – I hated that job. Jillian and I had seen each other a few times by then. On our first date we watched money train at her apartment. I thought that was a good flick or maybe it was just the company I was with. When we weren’t with each other we would talk for hours about nothing on the phone. She was great. I had a paycheck or two left from the grocery store, so things were ok for a while but part-time, minimum wage checks don’t last long when you’re trying to impress a lady. Before I have even moved in with Jay, he had given his one-month notice to the landlord. He was planning on joining the air force. Also, he and his girlfriend were getting serious, wedding bells and all. I believe after the month was up he’d either move in with her and her mother or back with his parents. In order to join the air force and meet the enlistment requirements, he needed to drop a few pounds. There is a ratio they use where the size of your neck and waist are factored together to obtain your ideal weight. So he went on that no card diet. You know the one, eat the hamburger with no bun, eat the chicken and turkey, and all the veggies you want but leave off the butter and no pasta. [ * Little known factoid, the Atkins diet is named for Dr. Atkins not for being the founder but as the first to die. You see diets are named like diseases. Believe it! ] In high school, Jay and I had “bulked” up on double servings of French fries and grilled cheese. He was the first to get a car and license and we’d go driving. Our poison was Wendy’s Triple Cheeseburgers and after some intense “training” we were able to put away 2 – each! In our junior year we transformed from underweight nerds to beefy techno savvy smartasses. We weren’t really fat; we just filled out our frames a little more. The change was really quick. We really were new people. He and I would hang out with two other friends who were big. Ever since we knew them, they were heavyset and bigger than us. We bulked up and they started to call us fat – Jay got it a little more than I but I got it, too. I politely referred to them as heavyset but come on! How dare those straight from the mayonnaise troth eating, Bacon Churner with Fauxtatoes hoarding, lard asses call us fat! Nevertheless, that diet did the trick for him. He’d have a dry turkey or roast beef sandwich replacing the bread with lettuce and carrots on the side. I couldn’t do it; I don’t have that kind of will power or the cash. [ Poor Man Meice’s knock off spaghetti O’s – Get a 25 cent box of Mac and cheese. Most grocery stores will either have a store brand or some discount on the box stuff. Get a small can of tomato sauce; they are usually under 50 cents. Boil the pasta and drain. Mix half the can of the sauce with the cheese mix. Add the pasta. Enjoy! Its less expensive than the cans of pasta like spaghetti O’s and I think tastes about the same. ] Over the next couple of weeks, Jillian and I were really digging each other. With no job and no prospects, I was able to see her on the fly. I also did not have to worry about getting up in the morning for work, so I was able to snuggle... ahhh. She was working two part-time jobs, one are the convenience store where she lived and the other at a call center in Greenfield. Opposites attract, I guess. Jay had the apartment until the end of December – that meant that I also only had until the end of December. Jillian was coming out of a serious relationship and didn’t want to fall into another one quickly. I tried to convince her I was the least serious person she’d ever meet, but she didn’t buy it. We were friends in high school, flirted up a storm, and even talked about dating. I actually turned her down because I was foolishly pursuing another, what a mistake! Jillian and I had seen a lot of each other over the course of three weeks. After a talk, maybe some pleading, and I’m sure there was a little begging I moved in with her around Christmas. It was conditional – I had to get and keep a job. Luckily, my old agency came through for me one last time. I gave them a ring and they had two positions available. One was working in the laundry room of a college preparatory school in Northfield and the other was for a plastic makeup bottle manufacturing plant in Turners Falls. I was interested in the position in the school as it was closest to me. Unfortunately, the interview didn’t go well. I got a vibe from the manager and I don’t feel I nailed it. When I had lived with Lee in Turners Fall, he worked at this plant also as a temp. He said it was easy work, if you could get into the rhythm of it that is. If he could do it, I’m sure I could do it too as our skills are pretty comparable. After the interview I called the agency and said I would take the bottle job. [ Once during an interview for a system administrator job I really screwed up. Question: “Mr. Henry, could you tell us about your experiences with administering and managing networked computers.” Answer: “I have no legitimate experience…” I rambled on after that, wrong choice of words! Needless to say I didn’t get that job. ] Oh brother, that place was bad. Number One – the shift was 6:30am to 2pm and they wanted you there an unpaid 15 minutes before the shift started. They claimed because you could get out 15 minutes earlier but I never got out early! I’d show up 5 minutes before I was supposed to get there and get yelled at for be late! Ridiculous! Number Two – the machines were more temperamental than the floor supervisor! Everything about that place was fast paced. If the bottles weren’t loaded in the machines fast enough, the machine would go down. If the bottles weren’t loaded into the labeler fast enough, the machine would go down. If you weren’t fast enough clearing and packing the finished bottles from the dispenser, the machine would go down! And finally, Number Three – did I mention the shift was at 6:30am?! That is a horrible shift for a cartoon-addicted insomniac! Wouldn’t you figure, at the end of the third week I had some car trouble. My girlfriend would drive me to and fro. Let me just tell you, neither of us were very pleasant in the morning. The Toronado was in failing health. It wasn’t driving very well, the car would putt and chug. I thought there could be some water in the tank or something, so I gave her a swig of some dry gas but there was no change. I popper her hood, after some initial shyness and embarrassment, I checked her plugs and plug wires - still no improvement. Slowly, she started to slip away. My baby wouldn’t idle and would stall out. With the stalling there was added stress to the starter, which failed one day at the manufacturing plant. I tried tapping it like they say to, but she was gone.
I lifted her head
she looked at me and said
Hold me darling just a little while
I held her close
I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love I knew I had missed
but now she's gone
even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life that night
Pearl Jam - Oh Where Oh Where Could My Baby Be
I called my Grandmother and Putt-Putt (another story) and they gave me a ride to the Northfield apartment. The next day, I returned to work and found that my car had been tagged with a neon orange abandoned car sticker. Through a befriended co-worker, I learned that jerk floor supervisor called in the report! I worked through my shift and Jillian brought me home.
There was a tough decision to be made. What to do with that car? The cause of all my headache over these months but also the source of some joy. That car was the only constant thing in my life; it was very hard to let go out. After much soul searching, I decided to do nothing and allow the car to be towed. It was someone else’s problem now.
Jillian wasn’t pleased, this meant she’d have to cart me back and forth. I wasn’t thrilled about the 6:30am start time. The floor supervisor was thrilled that I was still breathing or of my performance. So I finished out the week and wasn’t called back.
Times were tough for us over the next few months. We were late on rent a few times and the landlord was impressed with that. Once at the store, Jillian overheard that an area artist was looking for some help at his studio.
Occasionally on Sundays I would get up with her and help her open the store. I would do the papers while she made the coffee and muffins. After I was finished with the papers I would sit with Jillian until it got busy.
After papers one Sunday she introduced me to the artist. He was local with a shop he ran with his wife a few miles down from the fire department. They started selling some of their products via mail order and needed some help with the data entry and production. I’m a little artsy, so I said what the hell.
I enjoyed the position and was there for almost 8 maybe 9 months. When I started it was just me, the owners and another girl who was about my age. Down the road they hired a couple of more girls and one of their boyfriends. Everything was great, and then it was September 11th 2001.
The owners of the studio had basically left me in charge while they were visiting their family and friends in New York City. September 11th was just another day. I came to work and let myself in with the hidden key. I was working through the production line when news reports broke into the radio program I was listening to. I didn’t quite catch it all, something about a plane. Ignored it and went back to work but then the second plane struck. The owners called and let us know they were ok then I think I went home early for the day to be with Jillian.
I continued to work for the art studio until the end of November 2001. Maybe because of September 11th, maybe because of the Discovery Channel documentaries on basic training but whatever the reason I enlisted with the Army under the delayed enlistment program. I was set to leave for Basic Training on February 4th 2002. You were in the Army? Well, that’s classified and another story.
I returned from the Army adventure in April of 2002. They Army really helped me get my life together. Jillian and I were still together and in love… ahhh. I had been steadily employed by the gas station down the street from our apartment. With that job I was able to get my car situation turned around. Tickets were paid and driving school was completed.
In front of the apartment building next to the Northfield fire department there was a Ford Festiva for sale and for only $200. It had some rust and needed some tires. I had the money and wanted a toy! To date the Festiva was the best car I had ever owned. It was my first stick and it was fun to drive. There were a few websites that showed mods for those cars. I did a little modding and tuning, but since the purchase of this car I’ve kept it legal.
Well, that’s the end of this adventurous epic of driving an unregistered, uninsured and overall illegal vehicle. I wouldn't recommend doing it to anyone, but if you have no other choice I do have some advice – do it smartly! Drive only to and from work with no extra stops if it can be avoided. Don’t carry weapons or stupid shit with you. Keep your car clean, don’t let it look like you’re living out of your car. Make sure all lights are fully operation and use your directionals – don’t give them a reason to even look at you! Finally, if you do get caught pull over right away and explain your situation. They’re human, too. They could relate to your story or situation if you’re sincere (or convince them that you are) but any chance of that would go out the window if you unsuccessfully run away. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story. It was longer than I expected it to be.
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