Breaking news in Millers Falls..

"We now go to Michael Henry, live on the scene." [Camera shot of Mike with ambulance behind him.] Chuck, off camera: "Mike, so whats the situation there?" "Good evening, Chuck and Diane. What you see here is an Ambulance that sped past me as I was enroute to the laundromat to pick up my finished load. I was really close to the facility, so I stayed the course. Quickly, I unloaded the dryer, folded my laundry and loaded it in the car. The chase was then on, the trail was luke warm but my keen bloodhound skills lead the way..." [Cut back to the studio.] Diane: "Fascinating, Mike. By chance, what was the laundromat's name?" [Cut back to live shot of amublance.] Mike, with finger to right ear: "Diane, the facility is called Suzee's Third Street Laundry. Great place - cheap washes, cheap drys and best of all free wi-fi." Off camera, Diane cuts in: "Wow, that place does sound great!" Camera turns to Mike: "It is, Diane. I've been using the place for a few months now, basically ever since I moved from Northfield. But I digress. The real story here is this ambulance. Here is what we know at this hour: there is an ambulance here. This has been Michael Henry, reporting live from route 63 here in Millers Falls - Diane and Chuck, back to you." [Split screen of studio and live camera.] Diane: "Mike, do we know why the ambulance is there." Mike: "Well Diane, I believe someone inside is in need of medical aid." Chuck: "Have you heard anything from law enforcement?" Mike: "There was a cruiser here but drove away as I was setting up the camera." Diane: "So... basically, you know nothing of the situation and you're wasting our time?" Mike: "Pretty much. The real media hasn't arrived yet, so I have no one to copy off of. I left my press pass in my other pants and they won't allow me on the scene because of it. Back to you in studio." Fin. P.S. ...I hope you're not dead.