Weekend News Wrap-up

[ TBO ] Intruder Fondles Sleeping Woman This is exactly what I worry about every night! Some spanish man, creeping into my bedroom through an open window. I awake with a gentle caress, a sweet nothing whispered into my ear. Damn it, Rickey, you can be my hero! Return my calls! [ DAILY KOS ] Re-Improved Colbert transcript (now with complete text of Colbert-Thomas video!) If you missed that whole White House correspondents' dinner, you thankfully missed a lot of crap but you also missed out on the ballsiest thing I've ever seen. This has links to the video, watch it. Be amazed. The truthiness of Stephen Colbert will astound. You probably only heard about the Dubya's double. [ COURIERJOURNAL ] Supreme Court backs ex-Playmate's effort I used to watch this show on E! called the Anna Nicole show. You know, "Anna, Anna, Fabulous Anna, Anna Nicole. Your so outrageous." I felt sorry for the over weight, blemished beauty but now after Trim Spa... I don't care so much. [ PHILLY ] Bird-flu TV movie has a scary vision I work for an insurance company that handles all sorts of policies. Last week, I actually took a call from a secretary of a company stating their "CEO of the company wants to make sure that their policy would cover them in wake of an outbreak." Confidentiality prevents me from naming specifics but I can't believe the stupidity out there. Give me a break, the Bird flu?! Maybe you should all do your part! [ FOXNEWS ] Cash-Strapped Puerto Rico Forced to Close Schools, Government Offices We like to keep our territories beneath us, that’s how we roll round here. Too bad they don't have a social security trust fund to borrow against or maybe they should try to cut the taxes of the wealthy, it's working for us! With our current $9 trillion or so of debt, the Bushies are even trying to push for tax cuts! Come on Puerto Rico, get with the program! [ DENVERPOST ] "666" sense: Date marked with caution "The bottom line is that our intelligence unit is familiar with 666 and its significance." That's great. This will also be the day I announce my big news. It's huge! [ ABCNEWS ] Non-Diet Sodas Won't Be Sold to Schools The smart kids, the ones who can identify Kentucky and Iraq on a globe, don't buy soda at school anyway. They know it is much more cost effective to buy a two-liter or two and a bag of ice before school, store said purchases together and enjoy crisp, cold and delicious soda all day long. It's like as soon as kids walk out of high school they forget about what it was like being a kid. [ CANADA ] Black bear has a very sweet tooth When my wife sees me reach for my camera, sometime she's supportive "Go for it, honey!" and other times "Don't even think about it!" I'm sure in this case she'd douse me with honey and enthusiastically urge me to get the shot. [ MSNBC ] Reluctant juror no longer forced to sit on bench I like jury duty; I don't see what the big deal is. [ WTAE ] Man Allegedly Attacks Quizno's Cup Mascot Should have sent those freaky hamster-things out there! No one would mess with those things!

In other news, the scapegoat Moussaoui has been sentenced to life in prison. Also, I hope you didn't miss free comic book day yesterday. It was one for the history books! Finally, I hope this isn't a spoiler but Barbaro won the 2006 Kentucky Derby. In site related news, I was going to update the complete layout today but hit a little snag. The about page is up now; still working on the rest. Lots of love.