[ PRESSHERALD ] Train kills youth fishing off trestle In a Tony Danza-like segway, I took my son fishing on Saturday. We didn't catch any fish and he got bored, so we walked over to the park. The End. [ CHINADAILY ] Bra producers bust out D cups as breasts grow You will never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic. [ CHRON ] Judge: Web-Surfing Worker Can't Be Fired So never fear my workforce readers, a precedent has been set! [ ELMWOOD CITY LEDGE ] Man arrested in convenience store robbery attempts I prefer pantyhose as a disguise but to each their own. If he had blue duct tape on his face, he would have been magical... what? No other LARP nerds? [ YAHOO ] Oh daddy -- Komodo dragon births leaves experts foxed Can't wait to see this episode of Maury! With the follow up news story: Komodo sexual harassment scandal. [ TAMPABAYS10 ] Dad shoots at computer, saying son spends too much time playing games If only my father cared like that for me back then, I might be a different person! I will break the chain, I will vow to shoot all my children's computers, video games, televisions and hip clothing! [ THESMOKINGGUN ] Red-faced Oregon man busted for brandishing phony gun outside school First the Duct-Tape dude, now a Star-Wars one?! I swear, if someone rips off my pantyhose disguise there'll be trouble! [ DULUTHSUPERIOR ] Bill would prohibit mandatory microchip implants At least that's something that could be passed and followed through on. Unlike Northampton, Massachusetts where they are trying to rally support for the impeachment of Dubya. Get over it NoHo, you're not important! [ EDITORANDPUBLISHER ] Is the Press Covering the Iraq War On the Cheap? Read the story. That's all I can say. [ REUTERS ] Cape Cod debates first US offshore wind farm Complain, complain, complain. Try and provide a solution, complain about that. We can dress cell phone towers up to look like ugly ass trees, so maybe we can dress windmills up to look like ugly ass...palm trees? Opponents say the turbines' big steel blades could kill migrating birds and the sight of them could threaten the lucrative tourist industry. Sure, you may lose a dumb bird or two and you may lose a dumb tourist or two but when you're presented with a feasible solution to provide around 400,000 homes with affordable electrical power you take it. But it appears that won't be happening. The leaders of this state and country are all jackasses with their hands in the pocket of big business.
In other news, Keira Knightly voted world's sexiest woman. Last time I checked, it wasn't her I married but I'll look again just to make sure. Also, Bush has nothing better to do than to throw the White House Correspondents Association dinner where he had a look alike spouting whitty pharses like, How come I can't have dinner with the 36 percent of the people who like me?
What's new with me? A few things. I'll have a big announcement soon. It's huge but will have to wait. Lots of love.
Do you enjoy Coca-Cola Classic? Do you get your kicks from a cup of joe? Well, you might enjoy a - tiny - bottle of 
How black is Coca-Cola Blak? Looks about the same. It might be a shade darker than the Coca-Cola with Lime and Coca-Cola Classic but not by much, not by much at all.
Now take the beverage and take a whiff, the aroma is a caramelistic coffee. With the first sip, you notice the coffee flavor but it isn't overpowering - you can just tell it's there. Also, the carbonation seems to be less than regular Coca-Cola.
I don't like to drink decaffeinated coffee, I try not to drink caffeine free sodas and I sure as hell don't drink non-alcoholic beer. Why bring this up? Drinking a beverage for it's taste alone is not something I do. There has to be something in it for me. I'm greedy like that.
Lucky for me, Coca-Cola Blak has twice the caffeine as regular Coca-Cola Classic with half the calories! Unfortunately for me, I don't care too much for the "coffee" flavor. Sure, I like coffee and I drink coffee by the gallons (when it's free, such as during work sponsored brunches and the free refills at restaurants) but I don't enjoy products that are flavored like coffee. Coffee ice cream is a big no-no! Don't even get me started on iced coffee either! It's an abomination!
After a few more sips of this stuff the focus isn't on the flavor anymore. You're left thinking, "Why the hell am I still drinking this? It's gross!" The answer is, of course, this stuff isn't cheap and if you're going to shell out the dough, you're better choke it down! I couldn't find this stuff by the bottle so I had to buy the four-pack at $5.99 plus deposit. I could have bought a 20oz bottle and a 12oz can netting me the same amount of fluid for only about $2.00 including deposit!
Of course, I finished the case and I have to admit: I'm not a fan but I do dig the bottle design. Also, I'm glad I had a chance to try Blak before it failed and was yanked from the shelves.
Pick some up, try it and let me know what you think of it.
Product Release Date: April 2006
Mohawk Trail, Greenfield, Massachusetts
Applebee's side of the rotary
These women set up some time after 1:45pm today. I know this because when I first drove by on my way to Big Y they were not there. I really wanted to run over there and ask them a few questions but unfortunately my schedule did not permit the exchange.
Do you know what they're talking about? No? Well, in a nutshell, there are a lot of people who are up in arms over the 20 percent increase of power production at Vermont Yankee and now there are concerns if the production is increased would that also increase the range affected should an incident occur. There was an article in the April 22nd Weekend Edition of the 
Not my finest work but just creepy enough to make my parents question where they failed. Don't judge me, Mother! You knew! Remember when you caught me in your girdle and highheels! Those were bright, red, blinking signs!
Yup, it's April 22nd and that makes today Earth Day! Today isn't the day to plant a tree - that's Arbor Day and that's next Friday.
What is Earth Day you ask? Well, Earth Day began back in 1970 (on today's date) as an event that attempted to bring the public together on environmental issues. In other words, it's a day that the tree huggers use to push their ideas that the environment needs to be protected, their ideas on conservation, reduction on fossil fuels, blah blah blah.
Well, since I hugged a tree today I feel that warrants that I provide my readers with a 2006 Earth Day tip. Brace yourself, because it's a doozy.
I will be referring to this pine tree as a Holiday Tree - #1 because I don't want to offend non-Christians (yeah, right) and #2 I want TEiN to show up on the Google search for Holiday Tree. That pinhead William has a lot of pinheaded followers. Anyway, my tip is to reuse last year's Holiday Tree. I have mine out in my back yard. It is still mostly green with most of needles still attached. With 8 months to go until the Holiday Season, I know some of you will have concerns over the quality of the tree. Never fear! Just before you're about to erect your glorious tree just tag it with a little high quality spray paint.
I personally guarantee* that this will allow you to reuse that Holiday Tree for at least the next two Holiday Seasons! Have a good day!
Turners Falls, Massachusetts
So, I've heard they have braille on drive up ATM buttons. To myself I've questioned, No way, really? To which this Greenfield Savings Bank 24-Hour drive-up ATM provided the answer. Yes, there really is braille on the buttons! But why? Because the dogs are too short? That couldn't be it! Great Dane's are huge!
Then what is the reason? By the power of the Internets I discovered the boring, unfunny truth. According to section 4.34.4 of the ADA Accessibility Guidelines for Buildings and Facilities (Appendix to Part 1191, 36 CFR Chapter XI, issued pursuant to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990) says, "Instructions and all information for use [of an automated teller machine] shall be made accessible to and independently usable by persons with vision impairments." There is no exception provided for drive-ups. But if you look closely, the buttons may have Braille but how do they read the screen?! I haven't found a definitive answer to it - apparently there isn't an industry standard on this, but some machines have earphone jacks and some banks offer brochures or audiotapes that outline the questions.
After I was born, my parents bought a house on what is now Riverview Road in Gill, Massachusetts - when I lived there it was called Bridge Street. We lived right across from the river and spent a good many a day sitting on the pier fishing. For this story, I was about seven years old.
There aren't too many stories I could tell about living there in Gill. I remember dropping rocks from the rock wall on my toes. I also remember a bull frog that used to live in our back yard. One time, I looked in its hole that it lived in and it lashed it's tongue out at me! Yikes! Then there are other blurs, like looking at the engine of our blue hatchback with my dad, launching my bottle rocket, getting fish hooked by my brother in our drive way and when the bus driver left me off at my house but my mom thought I was going to be dropped off at the bus stop I was picked up at. This story and when I dropped off to an empty house are my most vivid memories living there.
I couldn't tell you the day, thats not important to the story any way, but one day my father, brother and I walked up Riverview Road to the Mobil Station that is on Route 2. I think we may have been going to buy worms or something. As we were crossing the street, my father and brother were in front of me. I stumbled on something and tripped in the middle of the road.
They were already past the double yellows and nearly to the other side when my father looked back and saw me still lying there in the road, crying.
I waved at him and yelled , "Go back. Leave me here, save yourself!"
He shook his head, told my brother to continue on to the other side and came over to get me. We made our purchases and, with me in the front this time, crossed the road then walked back to our house.
Fin.
"Are you nervous about coming here?" she asked.
She was of course referring to my little picketing adventure and the posts about the sudden closings of their local restaurants and how poorly managed this chain is. We needed to go here one last time before the property changes hands and the layout is changed. It's where we went to dinner after I proposed to her. She thought it would be a cute idea to leave this note.
We picked up our laundry and packed it into the suitcase. Then drove to get our son from school. We got there early and watched him play with the other children. As the other parents started coming to pick up their children, we nabbed Ryan and started the drive for the vacation.
The drive started so easily. It was easy sailing from Massachusetts through Connecticut but there was a situation when we hit New York - Ryan had to use the bathroom. When he says he has to go that could me immediately this second or in the next few minutes. He did a great job holding it and I took the first turn off I could find. With disaster avoided we now had to find our way back. We got lost at around exit 6a on our directions for a couple of hours.
If we were on the Amazing Race, we would have been one of those couples that people say, "oh, we would not be acting like that in that situation." Oops. Good thing the cameras weren't on.
We finally found our way then made it to our hotel and checked into our hotel. Resting briefly at the hotel, Jillian made us some ham sandwiches. We left hotel and set out to the city. The phone book provided a map which showed a connecting subway train from New Jersey to New York at the Newark Airport and that seemed to be just a bit up the street.
Just up the road we saw a metro station, it wasn't the airport though. We hopped out and looked at the map on the wall. This train would bring us to Hoboken. I didn't see Hoboken on our maps we had as a connection to New York but we asked the security guard and he said this was the right train.
With round trip tickets in hand we boarded the train to Hoboken station. Ryan digs trains. Unlike the DC trains we took, this one was pretty fast. From the station we caught a ferry to Manhattan Island. We were the only ones on, it felt like we were VIPs of something. We disembarked the ferry at about 8pm. We were in New York. When we bought our tickets we asked when the last ferry would be returning from New York. The ticket agent told us the last ferry left at 9:30pm.
Our goal for the night was to see the Empire State Building. As we were walking from the ferry dock we saw it and decided to walk to it. The walk began to take too long and the building was out of sight so we hailed a cab. The ride took 15 minutes. Ryan really liked the cab ride.
We were dropped us off in front of the building. Looking up at it is enough to make you dizzy. The first elevator brought us to the 6th floor where we were directed to a line for the next elevator. The lines moved pretty quickly. We took the next elevator to the 80th floor where we stood in line again and posed for a mandatory picture they tried to sell you when you came back down. Then took the final elevator to the observation deck.
Looking out at the city was cool at night, so many lights. We walked around all four corners and checked out the nightlife of the city. After we had our fill of the cityscape, we bought a pencil for Ryan's pencil collection then we made our way down and out the building. It was well past 9:30 and had missed the last ferry.
Across from the Empire State building was a McDonalds, so we crossed and got some food. When we visited DC they had street carts for McDonald's and they cost a pretty penny compared to the Massachusetts Restaurants I frequent. Luckily they had a dollar menu.
With bellies full we set off to find a way back to the hotel. We found a subway station but they didn't have any connections to Hoboken. There was a sign that said to walk down and block and turn left or right. That brought us to Penn station. They didn't have any either and they advised us the same thing, walk down a block and take a left of right.
We finally found a station with the path trains that connected New York to New Jersey. From Hoboken we took a train back to our car. Warily drove back to the hotel and crashed for the night.
We checked out at 8:50 or so and made our way back to the metro station down the road. Again, boarded the train to Hoboken station and then hopped on the path train to New York. After the train, we made our way to the tour bus company's visitor's center to pick up the tickets Jillian reserved for us. They had a life size statue of the Rock.
The first bus we boarded, which was a double-decker, was for the uptown loop. It covered Central Park, Park Central Hotel, NYC & Company Visitor Center, Times Square, Port Authority Bus Terminal, Sawan Grocery, Columbus Circle, Lincoln Center, Dakota Apartments / Strawberry Fields, American Museum of Natural History, Upper West Side, American Youth Hostel, Cathedral of St. John the Divine, Riverside Church, Fort Tryon Park, New Leaf Cafe, The Cloisters, Apollo Theater, Harlem Market, Central Park Conservatory Gardens, Smithsonian National Museum of Design, Guggenheim Museum, Metropolitan Museum of Art, Frick Collection, Central Park Zoo then back to the visitor's center. The tour took about 2hrs 45mins. The first tour guide was great, I wish I got his name.
After the first tour finished we walked over and bought some food. Jillian got a sausage hotdog and I got a regular one. Pretty good. Ryan was asleep so no hotdog for him. Then we set out to find the downtown loop bus.
We eventually found one and took a seat at the top. The downtown loop covered Times Square, Broadway, Macy's, Empire State Building, Flatiron Building, Union Square, Greenwich Village, Soho, Chinatown / Little Italy, City Hall / Brooklyn Bridge, World Trade Center, Battery Park, South Street, Lower East Side, East Village, United Nations, Waldorf - Astoria Hotel, and then Rockefeller Center / Radio City Music Hall.
We hopped off at the Battery Park stop to see the Statue of Liberty. When Jillian reserved the tickets she also picked up a couple ferry tickets to Ellis Island and the Status of Liberty. We boarded the ferry. On the way over the coast guard escorted us. An announcement came over the P.A. that said this was the last ferry and we had to decide between Ellis Island or the Statue of Liberty. There wouldn't be enough time to do both. The ferry drove first to Ellis Island. I took a few pictures of it but we decided not to that the tour there. On to the Statue!
The ferry docked at 4:10pm. On the way off the boat, Jillian asked when the next one would be back. We were told 4:30. Perfect! We double timed it to the front and took a few pictures then walked around the island back to the returning ferry. We were escorted by the NYPD on the way back.
We got back on the bus and continued to tour to the Rockefeller Center / Radio City Music Hall stop. There were a few more stops on the tour but it was the end of the tour for us. 
Ryan says that the skater's at Rockefeller Center were one of his favorite parts.
Light was fading fast and we were getting hungry. We looked for a sit down restaurant but didn't find any in the part of the city we were in. So we walked back to the path train station to take the train back to Hoboken because we remembered that there was a waterfront cafe there but it was closed by the time we made it back. We took the train back to the station down the street from our hotel.
On the same road there was a steak house called La Fusta, we stopped there for dinner. Their food was pretty decent and the portions we just right. Jillian and Ryan both had ravioli while I had a veal parmesan. After a decent meal we drove home, arriving back a little after 1 am.
This has been another fine vacation wrap up brought to you by the 
Greenfield, Massachusetts
It snowed today. SNOWED! Most of it melted as it hit the ground but the sky was white with a blizzard of flakes. It is spring right?
I’m officially a bad boy. Yup, a rebel without a cause. While I’m over here ripping the left arm sleeves off all my shirts, let me tell you about yesterday and how I got my tattoo.
I’ve toyed around with the idea of a tattoo for years. It was always of the same design, the 
The IRS was particularly kind this year with my family’s tax return so I had a little extra cash to play with.
A couple of Thursdays ago I tried to do a walk-in at 
We arrived at Art for Life right on time for my 4pm. A tattooed and pierced man came up to the counter and introduced himself as Pat Murdough and stated he was going to do my tattoo. We talked about what I wanted and where. I gave him the picture; in turn he gave me some paperwork to complete while he was making an outline. After I completed the paperwork, I checked out his portfolio and some of the other artwork around the shop. Not bad. Pat came back, took the paperwork and led me to his area.
The tattoo took around two hours. The first hour Pat inked the outline. That was a cakewalk, barely felt anything. The second hour was spent filling it in. Not too bad. The mouth and the parts of the legs closest to the body hurt the most. I’ll admit that I winced a few times and had to close my eyes once or twice during that part. Happy thoughts, Mike, go to your happy place.
“Mike, why do you keep smiling?” my sister asked at one point. To which my reply was, “Releasing the endorphins.” I think I saw on TV or read in a book, maybe from the radio. I don’t know exactly where I heard it from but smiling releases endorphins in the body, which makes people feel better.
[ She caught me here mid-smile. ]
During the second hour of the inking, Mike Connors, owner and senior tattoo artist, came over and said a woman had some questions on the sanitation process they use for piercings. Pat asked me if it was ok if she came back. I said sure. What do I care? Long story short, she was asking because she wanted her nipples pierced. I know, sorry, I didn't really work up to climax of that little story.
After I was inked, he went over the aftercare procedures with me: wash gently, apply some ointment, don’t touch with dirty hands, no hot tubs, don't expose to direct sunlight, don’t feed it after midnight. Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Will I get another one? Maybe. It was a pleasant experience but I have no plans (or the funds) for another anytime soon. There is a design of a spider web with the dates of my marriage and son’s birth that I’m trying to work out in my head. I don’t have it the way I want yet to be able to commit a permanent surface of my body to it.
Fin.