[ PRESSHERALD ] Train kills youth fishing off trestle In a Tony Danza-like segway, I took my son fishing on Saturday. We didn't catch any fish and he got bored, so we walked over to the park. The End. [ CHINADAILY ] Bra producers bust out D cups as breasts grow You will never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic. [ CHRON ] Judge: Web-Surfing Worker Can't Be Fired So never fear my workforce readers, a precedent has been set! [ ELMWOOD CITY LEDGE ] Man arrested in convenience store robbery attempts I prefer pantyhose as a disguise but to each their own. If he had blue duct tape on his face, he would have been magical... what? No other LARP nerds? [ YAHOO ] Oh daddy -- Komodo dragon births leaves experts foxed Can't wait to see this episode of Maury! With the follow up news story: Komodo sexual harassment scandal. [ TAMPABAYS10 ] Dad shoots at computer, saying son spends too much time playing games If only my father cared like that for me back then, I might be a different person! I will break the chain, I will vow to shoot all my children's computers, video games, televisions and hip clothing! [ THESMOKINGGUN ] Red-faced Oregon man busted for brandishing phony gun outside school First the Duct-Tape dude, now a Star-Wars one?! I swear, if someone rips off my pantyhose disguise there'll be trouble! [ DULUTHSUPERIOR ] Bill would prohibit mandatory microchip implants At least that's something that could be passed and followed through on. Unlike Northampton, Massachusetts where they are trying to rally support for the impeachment of Dubya. Get over it NoHo, you're not important! [ EDITORANDPUBLISHER ] Is the Press Covering the Iraq War On the Cheap? Read the story. That's all I can say. [ REUTERS ] Cape Cod debates first US offshore wind farm Complain, complain, complain. Try and provide a solution, complain about that. We can dress cell phone towers up to look like ugly ass trees, so maybe we can dress windmills up to look like ugly ass...palm trees? Opponents say the turbines' big steel blades could kill migrating birds and the sight of them could threaten the lucrative tourist industry. Sure, you may lose a dumb bird or two and you may lose a dumb tourist or two but when you're presented with a feasible solution to provide around 400,000 homes with affordable electrical power you take it. But it appears that won't be happening. The leaders of this state and country are all jackasses with their hands in the pocket of big business.
In other news, Keira Knightly voted world's sexiest woman. Last time I checked, it wasn't her I married but I'll look again just to make sure. Also, Bush has nothing better to do than to throw the White House Correspondents Association dinner where he had a look alike spouting whitty pharses like, How come I can't have dinner with the 36 percent of the people who like me?
What's new with me? A few things. I'll have a big announcement soon. It's huge but will have to wait. Lots of love.
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