Weekend News Wrap-up

[ LOCAL6 ] Law Would Let Hookers Sue Pimps, Customers Better start getting the beatings in before I lose that perk. [ WEEKLY WORLD NEWS ] Tobacco Company Sues Secondhand Smokers Fake news is great. [ THESUN ] Hare comes the bride I'm a reverend, too. I never really considered the rabbit market. 10% discount to the next 5 rabbit couples! [ MERCURYNEWS ] Feuding owners in court over lewd Web site Someone has watched Fight Club one too many times. [ IOL ] Burglars serve free beers to drunk patron Can't blame the guy. Who would question free beer? Not I. [ CNN ] Webcast singer snapped up by Sony Don't let my wife see this. [ REUTERS ] Wal-Mart to open stores in blighted areas In other news, Al Norman seen heading to travel agent. [ CNN ] Patient's survival bad for business No funny comment on this. Everyone is out to make a buck. But remember all those HIV/AIDs made for TV movies? I was in grammer school during the late 80s to early 90s. The virus was just starting to be known. Remember Magic Johnson? He has/had HIV. Why hasn't he died yet? [ MSNBC ] How to handle the office jerk This article was written about me. [ KSBWC ] Parents Upset Principal Oiled Fence To Stop Ditching Of course its the principal's fault. How dare he oil a fence to keep kids from skipping school! No body better tell my child who I send to school to learn not to skip!